insanity remedy

Thankyoumony

2011-11-24T23:42:00.001-07:00

I 'member girls camp. I 'member whens we'd sit 'round the fire, last day or so of the whole thing and thank alls our friends for being "such good friends." Forget the whole point of the week, the work, the effing crafts. I hated thankyoumony time. It t'wasn't about girls being nice or good or friends or such, for that matter. It was about who could cry most convincingly, get other girls to cry with them and then prove how popular they were and others weren't by inclusive/exclusive statements. I 'member girls thankyoumonying to my mom and I wanted to scream at them cuz they never knew her. They never took half a moment to try to know her because she wasn't the glamorous, raven-haired rich one, or the hilarious and gregarious one (rhyming makes me smile); she wouldn't further their hopes of being popular or well-liked, because, well, she was real and wouldn't bullshit with them.

Well, bitches, she was better than you, me and alls yous will ever know. So today at our Thanksgiving feast, I was sooo hoping we wouldn't do the thankyoumony that usually goes along with it because I wouldn't speak. I had already planned not to speak. Right now, I'm not thankful.

Cherished Wife, Mother, Grandmother and Friend

2011-11-09T21:08:00.007-07:00

Alice Nielsen Raynes, age 63, passed away peacefully November 9, 2011, surrounded by her eternal family.

She was born March 31,1948, in Provo, Utah to Vernon C and Olive Nielsen; she was the oldest of eight children. Her childhood was happy and filled with love. She graduated from Granger High School; kind and fun, she was voted by her student body as the Lady Lancer.

While attending BYU, Alice met Joe, her Prince Charming—it was love at first sight. They married in the Salt Lake Temple on May 27, 1969. They have ten children, all redheads like their parents. Being a mother was central to Alice’s life. She was a constant example of Christ, especially evident in the nurturing of her family.

Life is all about choices, and Alice humbly made the right choices. Alice always chose kindness. If you have met Alice, you have felt the Savior’s love. She never said an unkind word about anyone. She loved others the way the Savior asked us to love—unconditionally and without reserve.

She chose to have ten children. They were born to a mother who cherished them and their differences, a mother who was constant in her love, guidance and example. All of her children know secretly that they are their mother's favorite. Her grandchildren also felt her never-ending love. She spent every moment she could with them, cuddling and "smell-kissing" them. Her home was always open and everyone felt welcomed and known by her. She was a mother to all.

Alice chose lifelong learning and had an amazing mind. She graduated from BYU with her Bachelor's Degree and used it every day in raising her children. She participated on the BYU Ballroom Dance Team, and could rumba and cha-cha like no other. She read voraciously, played and graciously won all trivia and word games. She was a master of the English and Spanish languages. She was an accomplished tailor and clothing designer. She sewed each of her daughters’ wedding dresses, each one custom made. She drafted designs for her homes, and Joe built them—for her.

Alice chose music as her talent and love. She played the piano, organ and cello with incredible aptitude and found great joy in music. As a teenager, she took organ lessons at Temple Square in the Assembly Hall. She instilled a love of music in her children, and was happiest when they were singing. She shared her talent by happily accompanying vocalists. There was always music playing in her head. Joe would often ask her what song was in her head and she would name the song and composer and hum him a few lines. Heaven will be richer because of her music.

Alice happily chose to serve; spending her days in constant service of others. She was a proud and faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She magnified her every calling, serving as Relief Society President, temple worker, organist, and in a myriad of auxiliary positions at both the ward and stake level. She spent thirty years playing the organ weekly in the temple, offering peace through music.

Alice chose to follow Joe to the distant corners of the earth. Wherever he was, running water or no, Alice was by his side. When her eternal love and companion in life was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, Alice chose optimism and faith. She led her family with her example of turning to Christ and finding strength in Him.

She chose to be humble. She chose to be loving. She chose to be charitable. And her children watched and learned. They know where to turn for peace because they watched their mother find it in Christ.

We choose now to honor her legacy by being happy, ever-serving and faithful.

Alice Nielsen Raynes is preceded in death (by only 10 months) by her adoring husband Joseph Lincoln Raynes, and her parents, Vernon C and Olive Nielsen. She is survived by her ten children: Janelle (Nathan) Gerber, Michelle, Denise (Paul) Pitcher, Alison (Marshall) Smith, Melanee, Stefanie (Nate) Farnsworth, Jonathan (Daniela), Danielle (Bryan) Kennedy, Derrick (Alexa), David (Sydney), and 17 & 8/9 grandchildren. She is also survived by her siblings: Ruth (Tom) Rich, Chad (Karen) Nielsen, James (Giana) Nielsen, Kathleen Nielsen, John (Gayla) Nielsen, Lillian (Sterling) Clark, and Jocelyn (Michael) Goldberg.

Mom, you gave me the world. I love you more than words can express. I love you.

Alice Raynes Funeral Viewing

2011-11-09T21:07:00.001-07:00

Public viewings will be held on Friday, November 11, 2011, at Walker Sanderson Funeral Home (646 E 800 N, Orem) from 6-8:00 pm; and on Saturday, November 12, at the Orem Utah Cascade Stake Center (481 E Center St, Orem) from 11:00 am-12:30 pm.

Funeral services will be held on Saturday, November 12, at the Orem Utah Cascade Stake Center (481 E Center St, Orem) starting at 1:00 pm Interment will be at the Orem City Cemetery (1520 N 800 E) directly following the service.

Condolences may be sent to the family at: www.walkerfamilymortuary.com

Oh, Mom, I love and miss you so much.

Happy birthday, Dad.

2011-06-21T00:00:00.000-06:00

I miss my dad.

Love?

2011-03-25T20:26:00.002-06:00

What do you love? I'm curious and envious of those that find something or someone they love the most.

Beloved Husband, Father, Son, Brother.

2011-01-11T15:26:00.001-07:00

Joseph Lincoln Raynes PhD, age 64, passed away peacefully January 10, 2011, surrounded by his eternal family, after a battle with brain cancer.

He was born June 21, 1946, in Provo, Utah to Beth Milner and Lincoln Frances Raynes; he was the second of eight children. Much of his childhood was spent on the Oregon Coast. While at BYU, Joe met his beautiful wife Alice Nielsen in a laundromat and it was love at first sight. Their first conversation began with his joke about both having red hair. They married in the Salt Lake Temple on May 27, 1969. They have ten children, all redheaded. It was impossible to be around Joe and not know he loved his family, the Gospel, and serving others.

Joseph completed his Bachelors and Masters degrees at BYU and earned his PhD at Texas A&M University. He served and inspired others throughout his lifelong career in Education. He was an Elementary School Teacher, Principal at Joaquin Elementary, Dean of Continuing Education, Dean of Trades and Technology, and Associate Academic Vice President at Utah Valley State College. He was instrumental in bringing the Education Program to the now Utah Valley University. He loved being a Professor of Education. His influence is carried through the countless teachers he molded.

Traveling the world extensively, Joe was always in search of opportunities to serve others. Fluent in both Portuguese and Spanish, he lived in Bolivia and traveled throughout South America with his young family while working with the Bolivian government. He lived in Colonia Juarez, Mexico working with the Juarez Stake Academy, and traveled to Mongolia to develop their higher education programs during their transition from Communism. He was a gifted storyteller who weaved his life experiences into tales that both entertained and edified.

He was a dedicated servant of the Lord, who served an honorable LDS mission in the Brazil North Mission. He labored as Branch President at the MTC, Bishop of Cascade 2nd Ward, High Council Member in Orem Cascade Stake, and Ordinance Worker in the Mount Timpanogos Temple. A gifted teacher of life and salvation, he lived to bring action to the Gospel’s precepts.

Joe was a builder of homes, ideas, and lives. A gentle giant, who was steadfast, thoughtful, humble, and strong; he spent his life in quiet service. His greatness was shown by his Christ-like love, the warmth of his smile, the power of his patience, the richness of his intelligence, his ability and desire to teach even the hardest of hearts, his comedic timing, and his gift to uplift others through his faith, stories, and unconditional love. His love of the Savior showed in everything he did.

He is survived by his loving wife of 41 years, Alice Nielsen Raynes, and their ten children: Janelle (Nathan) Gerber, Michelle, Denise (Paul) Pitcher, Alison (Marshall) Smith, Melanee, Stefanie (Nate) Farnsworth, Jonathan (Daniela), Danielle (Bryan) Kennedy, Derrick (Alexa), David (Sydney), and their 17 grandchildren. He is also survived by his father and five sisters.

We will post details for the viewing and the funeral soon.

I love you, Dad.

Joe

2010-06-29T22:05:00.003-06:00

Yesterday my dad was told by doctors he has a cancerous tumor in his brain. It is quite large and it causing a lot of swelling. He has been admitted to the hospital and they're trying to "shrink his brain" (those are his words) so they can try to remove a majority of it. Whether you pray, fast or just send good vibes through the cosmos, I ask that you keep him on your mind and heart as he goes through this next adventure. Surgery is Thursday morning.

Thanks.

Love you, Dad.

I survived

2010-05-24T14:03:00.002-06:00

So I survived my event in Vegas. Whew!

Why did the world keep spinning as I was so busy and ignoring it? Sorry, friends, I suck. I'm trying to catch up to everything that happened over the past, oh, I don't know, 12 weeks or so? I feel like I don't remember much of anything from about early February on. My apologies. Fill me in!

Can I sleep yet?

2010-04-17T20:35:00.003-06:00

I just got back from Puerto Rico. I know, I know, poor me. But! Before you pooh-pooh, be aware that my life has been so crazy busy that all I could think about was doing my taxes. Doing my taxes was a GOOD thing because that would mean my PR trip would be over. And now, I'm on another show (luckily in SLC and for an easy company that doesn't use a lot of graphics support so I can mentally check out), and find my mind wandering to my next trip. Where should I go? I'm thinking Cancun...

Oh, hi again.

2010-02-22T19:39:00.005-07:00

I guess I've been gone awhile, yeah? Sorry 'bout that. I'm a slacker, lazy, and should be scolded for my absence.

Since I last told you anything about my life (most recent, veiled post excluded), I started a new job that I really enjoy, made some super-awesome new friends, lost 10 pounds, drove about 7,000 miles and found myself madly in love with an amazing man.

Sorry for not updating all y'all on my life, I've just been a busy girl!

Yep, I feel like a superstar!

Nothing to say

2009-12-03T21:03:00.002-07:00

I guess I just haven't had anything to say as of late. I have a lot of news but can't seem to share it. Do you ever go through phases like that? A phase where you find you are more private than usual?

So sad

2009-11-21T12:54:00.003-07:00

I am so super sad about this. My job requires way too much travel to keep my little puppy so I have to find him a new home. Do you know anyone that is looking for a dog? He is truly a delight.

Let me know. Thanks.

Calling all renters

2009-10-30T23:04:00.002-06:00

Hello all, I'm renting rooms yet again.

I have two rooms upstairs, both have private bathrooms. The master bedroom has two closets, attached bathroom and gets a garage parking spot. The other room has one closet, private bathroom and slightly cheaper rent than master. Kitchen has nice appliances, granite, dining area, large covered deck. Available immediately.

The basement is also for rent. 1,200 square feet, above ground windows, three bedrooms (master is big!) bathroom, kitchen w/dishwasher, living room w/gas fireplace, one garage space, laundry (which is shared with two women upstairs). Available Jan 1, 2010.

Hitch is that I only want women in this house. I would prefer only three in the entire house so if you know of a woman that wants her own place but not to live in an apartment building or in an entire house by herself, the basement is a great solution.

Please help me get the word out. Thanks!

Lake Powell Triathlon

2009-10-19T20:53:00.005-06:00

I was hoping and praying my bike would get stolen from the top of the car for the two nights it was left on top. No dice. I was terrified. For the swim, I trained for the wrong distance (400m instead of 750m) and hadn't trained in open water. I hadn't once done the full bike distance. I had only done the full run a few times in the past 6 months (and mostly walked it). I was definitely under-trained. I had only put about 15-20 miles on my new bike (and I am not skilled at road bikes, so it was a new thing and thus a stress), had only done one run with my new shoes (old shoes had given me fasciitis) and am asthmatic.

I got into the water with a fever, I had been sick for a few days and was coughing and congested and my head pounded. There was no way I wasn't going to try. I had decided they would have to take me off the course with a stretcher for me to stop. I was petrified. I was lucky to have such amazing friends with me. They told me to just enjoy the experience. Not to worry about my time, the other people, the stress, just enjoy the scenery, the challenge and the event. I got into the water and panicked. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. Breezy heard me with my asthmatic wheeze and let me rest on him for a bit while he swam. I would let go then hook back on for a bit to catch my breath and my sanity.

I then ran up a very long boat ramp, jumped on my bike and started a beautiful ride. I thoroughly enjoyed the scenery, the experimenting with shifting and talking to people as they passed me or as I passed them. Everyone was so encouraging. The camaraderie among the athletes completely blew me away. On a couple of the hills I got going faster than I've ever gone on a bike and it freaked me out but I loved it. As I came in and people were cheering—people I didn't know—I felt a little choked up.

I put on my shirt, number and cap and took off only to see Stef, Alice and Scarlett ready to cheer me on outside of the transition area. I tried to give Alice a hug but she was upset I wasn't her father. Stef took a photo (ugh, my legs are yucky) and I started jogging. Not running, mind you, just jogging. At this point, my legs are too tired to move faster than a jog. I had to walk and jog off and on for the rest of the race. My ankle and tendons around it started to shoot pains and I had to go slower. Some old dude ran by with some kind and encouraging words and I found that I was crying. The event was so emotional and had such a build (several months of fear) that to be almost done was such a relief. (Also, I found out the next day that part of why I was crying was because I was PMSing. Thanks Aunt Flo for adding yet another challenge to my day.)

But, I did it. I finished. 23 minutes faster than I thought I would and addicted to multi-sport. I now know how important training is. I now know how much better I could have done if I had done a few things differently. I also now know that triathlons are something that most people could do next week! If you want to do a triathlon or just want to pick a way to get good overall health and fitness, join us for the TimpTri in April. We are raising funds for Special Olympics in honor of our dear sister Shelley. It is empowering and fun and awesome and you can do it.

Who is in?

Happy Happiest 30th

2009-10-12T11:30:00.004-06:00

(I think "Oh no you didn't" was just said)

My little sister Stefanie celebrates her 30th birthday today. Wow! She is totally more mature than me even though I'm 20 months (to the day, mind you) older than her. Even as kids, she displayed a bigger heart than mine. For my birthday once she gave me a 6-pack of my favorite soda (we never got soda and never had money so it was a treat and a feat) and then said all she wanted in return was a hug. I was a loser and resisted, but finally gave in cuz she was crying and was just too cute. She has an awesome husband, two beautiful girls, a great job and the best sense of humor. I wish I could be just like my little sister when I grow up.

Love ya, sis!

(This is Stef posing. She said, "Get me looking motherly. OK, go, now.")

Thanks

2009-09-29T08:00:00.002-06:00

Thank you all for your comments. I have such wonderful family and friends. I love you all so much and feel blessed to have you in my life.

So grossly misunderstood

2009-08-30T01:25:00.002-06:00

How is it that I have been so grossly misunderstood? I know I have a lot of failings, but I am trying to be a decent human being. I try every day and hope I'm improving. Somehow, some people think I'm not such a decent person. Think I'm out to get them...but I'm not. I may shield myself emotionally from a lot of things but just below the surface is a sensitive, easily-hurt, caring person that wishes she could fix the world. Sure, I've made mistakes, but I'd like to think that I've never intentionally tried to hurt anyone. I don't want to hurt anyone. I am not out to get anyone. I just want to be left alone to pursue some kind of happiness for myself. Please, hear me. Please, just believe in a person that wants to do what's right and be happy.

I'm asking now for character witnesses. I hope that you will comment and be honest about what kind of person I am. If you think I'm a jerk, say it. If you think I'm a good person, say it. I will either get an idea of what I need to change or some positive reinforcement about the direction I'm pursuing in my life.

So fun!

2009-08-19T12:26:00.001-06:00

I know I shouldn't do two videos in a row, but this is just too cool.

Maybe I'm slow...

2009-08-17T23:02:00.000-06:00

I know, I know, I'm probably the last person to appreciate this song...y'all love it already. Watch it anyway, she's sooo good.

I'm a student again

2009-08-12T21:17:00.002-06:00

Starting August 27th, I am a full-time student again. Last time I went to school full-time was, um...I don't remember, actually. At least 7 years, probably more like 8 or 9. Two more semesters of full-time school and I'm done. I have 154 hours but no friggin' degree! I changed my major several times and took courses that didn't help or count (construction management, orchestra, etc.).

Wish me luck!

Trich

2009-07-22T23:29:00.003-06:00

Did you know I am crazy? Not just a little eccentric...kuh-razie! It hasn't been diagnosed officially but it's for real. It's called Trichotillomania. I'm sure I've mentioned it before. I mention it tonight because I've had a few episodes in the last few days. I've been stressed, grumpy, in a funk, and when those are combined with a person with a propensity for OCD & anxiety, my face gets destroyed. I've been sooo good the last few months. I think I'll hide for a few days while I heal.

Just looked at the clock at 11:34. Seventh night in a row. Creepy.

Over a month!

2009-07-14T10:24:00.003-06:00

Sorry for being such a slacker. It's been over a month since my last post and I don't really have a good reason. Sure, I was in Europe until the 24th of June; started working (consulting) on a daily basis so I actually leave my house more often; started training for a sprint triathlon, which includes a swimming class; started cooking food for to be eating; actually attended EVERY family event in the last few weeks (big feat for me).

Forgive?

Adventure!

2009-06-12T04:17:00.003-06:00

We got robbed. Our car was parked between an elementary school and the convent we stayed in last night in the wacko town of Nazareth (the Arab area). We've spent the last few hours talking to police, canceling credit cards, freezing credit with fraud alerts, blah blah. Stupid thieves. Stupid car. But what a fun adventure and story we have had!

Another beach

2009-06-04T19:17:00.002-06:00

I fly out on Sunday to visit yet another beach. It's not just ANY beach, mind you, it's a Middle Eastern beach. Try an Israeli beach. See below. Who knew?

Brett says "hi"

2009-05-20T21:11:00.003-06:00

Brett won't blog. He is too good for the blogging world, but that's OK. Soon, he will be a Scotsman and too good for us Americanos. Brett, please blog while you are in Scotland. Please!

Song of the week

2009-05-13T22:33:00.000-06:00

Here is my happy song this week:

CLARIFICATION

2009-05-09T20:32:00.001-06:00

Just a clarification. I've had some questions about my 4Life time in Florida. I was contracted by Cornerstone Technologies to run their PowerPoints, visuals, graphics. Now that I'm done with the event, I'm done with 4Life. :)

Thanks for your concern, but no, I do not work for 4Life now.

GAYLORD

2009-05-05T21:02:00.003-06:00

This is where I'm staying...

The Gaylord Palms in Orlando. It has this crazy atrium that encloses this mini-market/street area with pools and even alligator and turtle areas. Almost weird.

Childhood

2009-05-02T20:35:00.002-06:00

Is a-callin'...

Happy song

2009-04-20T10:34:00.003-06:00

I have a new favorite happy song. You might recognize it from the new Volvo commercials. It's just fun. Just turn it up and smile.

This isn't really a video, just a freeze of the singer:

I like good people

2009-04-14T16:11:00.001-06:00

I just wanted to say that there truly are good people out there. XanGo has a lot of those people.

A new leaf

2009-04-10T23:12:00.008-06:00

Another step in my quest to become a better person (I'm still light-years away and constantly make mistakes but I'm repenting daily and continue to try really hard) is to feel comfortable when the time comes for me to wear the LDS garment. I have two tattoos on my left upper arm that are too low to be covered by the garment and shirts that are in style right now. When I got the first tattoo, shirts weren't cap-sleeved. (Yes, I got the first one that long ago...13 years!) Why am I uncomfortable? Well, the small character below is the Arabic word for "insanity." Not just our friendly neighborhood crazy person but a "crazy, insane, dangerous, beware" kind of person. I was a little cuckoo when I got that tattoo. I hope/think I'm past that part of my life now.

As I did some research I found that tattoo removal could cost me upwards of $700 and multiple trips to the laser place. THEN I found a site that had a "mild" chemical treatment that removed them. Sure, I'll try it for $50. Bad idea...I think. Good idea to get rid of tattoo. Bad idea to get tattoo in the first place. Good idea to save money on tattoo removal. Bad idea to use ACID to remove it. Good idea to have Lortab on hand. Bad idea to use ACID! Good idea to have roommate document the whole affair. Bad idea to stomp on the floor while other roommate sleeps below.

For those of you that know me well you know I have a very high tolerance for pain. I broke my ankle and rolled on the ground laughing. I have scars-a-plenty and never shed a tear. So, you'll understand how painful my evening was as I put this innocuous-looking chemical on my tattoo only to have it turn into the fire and knives of Hades on my arm. I must have said, "Oh my gosh!" at least 40 times.

The white that you see is my skin being eaten away by acid. I had to deal with that for 5 minutes before I could wash it off. The burning only subsided, it didn't completely stop. Thus, the Lortab to help me sleep tonight. Right now, as I lie in my bed writing this, I have my sleeve rolled above the tattoo and won't touch it cuz it feels like a really bad sunburn.

Let this be a lesson to you: tattoos are stupid. Tattoo-removing acid is more stupider, more painful and more ugly. Just don't get a tattoo.

tadaa!

2009-04-02T00:03:00.003-06:00

OK, so it's still in its infancy, but here it is: www.mykissid.com/redhot

I've been helping out with this a lot. We just launched last night with an incredible party. (I am so exhausted.)

Anyway, more to come. Ask questions; let me explain why this is so fun. Y'all know me, I'm not an easy sell. It's fun!

On the horizon

2009-03-29T00:21:00.001-06:00

Something big is coming. Stay tuned. It's fun and I had a BIG part in it.

Oops

2009-03-27T10:04:00.001-06:00

Sorry for the brush off. I went private as I was deleting some of my other blogs but now I'm back.

No baby

2009-03-13T16:17:00.002-06:00

So my sister is preggers and I'm very happy for her. But then another sister blogged about happy-fun-kid-dentist-day and I made a comment about being the last sister without kids and would all the sisters (there are 7 of us) still be my friend. She said no. Color me heart-broken.

Internal clock

2009-03-08T12:23:00.002-06:00

For those of you that don't know this already, I tend to look at the clock at 11:34 much more often than is normal. I know there's more to it and I won't share it on here. Suffice to say that one part of it is that I believe we have an internal clock. I can "set my alarm" by telling my brain when to wake up. Some of you probably can too, no?

This morning I had a funny run-in with my internal clock. I was having a bizarre dream (details will remain secret...I have nutso dreams) and a couple of people at my dinner table were asking me what time it was. I kept saying I didn't know. I don't know! Then, like a narrator in a movie, a voice in my head asked me, "Why do you think they keep asking you what time it is?" Then that same voice asked me the same question over and over as their questions about what time it was overlapped it. Confusion! It finally hit me and I sat up in my bed. I looked at my watch and it said 10:59 but it should have said 11:59. I had stayed up too late the night before and had slept until noon. But, since it was Daylight Savings, my body thought it was only 11:00. Luckily, my brain is smarter asleep than awake and reminded me to get a move on so I wouldn't be late for church.

2009-03-07T11:15:00.006-07:00

First: Where did that boy get those shoes? Does he own a Ken Doll?

Second: Why hasn't he started selling these shoes at elementary and middle schools and made millions?

Third: Anyone can get 4 million views on YouTube, I guess. Ees for fun!

First: This is my nightmare come to life.

Second: I'm going to have nightmares from this.

Third: I wish I were cool enough to create this kind of stuff.

Me likes

2009-03-03T09:22:00.000-07:00

Please buy my house

2009-03-02T09:45:00.001-07:00

Yep, for reals this time. I AM selling my house. It's in Orem, 6 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms. It's a happy and light house in a great neighborhood. If you aren't in the buying market, please spread the word to those that are. I will post pics.

Thanks!

Grandma Raynes passed

2009-02-22T00:28:00.002-07:00

Both of my grandmothers passed within a year. I miss them both.

Are you for house?

2009-02-18T14:47:00.002-07:00

I think I want to sell my house. Any takers?

(Erin, don't freak out, nothing is set in stone.)

Yep, 31 looks like this

2009-02-12T16:10:00.002-07:00

Haircut! It was time to chop and try something new. She took off about 4 inches from the back and over 6 from the front. It made me laugh when other stylists came by and were so worried cuz we were cutting off so much length and thinning the heck out of it. I always get teased by stylists for how much hair I have. TONS of hair, very fine. Feels like it's plastered on the back of my neck when it's hot. I hope this thinned haircut helps.

2009-02-11T14:55:00.001-07:00

I am woman. Hear me roar.

2009-02-06T13:34:00.003-07:00

A while back I put up a post teasing the "self picture." And even though I have done it myself, I was teasing mostly that some people ONLY have those kind of pictures. My NEW favorite kind of self picture is the car shot.

I'll admit the reason I come across these a lot is that I am a member on an LDS dating site. I'm almost 31 and still single, can you blame me? I want to know what compels guys to take pictures of themselves while driving? Is it cool? Am I supposed to think the guy is hotter as he sits in his car with his sunglasses on? I just don't understand it. Oh wait, please put one up with your kid in the car seat behind you. You are quite obviously not watching the road. How attractive.

Wowza! He's so hot he can point his phone backward AND drive. I think I'll send him a wink or a smile. OK, I'm done being a snob.

Mom is bestest!

2009-01-31T20:15:00.005-07:00

My mom kicks all yous' mom's behinds. She done played the organ at the Tabernacle and rocked it!

Anniversary

2009-01-30T17:00:00.002-07:00

I've been a Mormon for 1 year today! Yeah, yeah, I know. I have been a Mormon since I was born, but not really. 1 year ago today I took my most honest step at actually following my faith. I can't believe it's been an entire year. It's been a really great year, I've been really blessed. It wasn't—of course—without its bumps, but on the whole was filled with good things. Good things are coming too.

The Rules

2009-01-29T17:58:00.003-07:00

OK, I'm allowed to write this post because I am an English major. I don't claim to be perfect, I just want to help.

Yeah = said /yɛə/ means "yes"
Yay = said /yā/ means "hooray"
Ya = said /yuh/ means "you" or "your"
Yea = said /yey/ means "yes"

Some may argue these and I'm sure there are slang versions on them but when chatting online or writing an email, use the right one...it can be quite confusing.

I have many more. They may not quite rank as "pet peeves" but they sure do irk me if my blood sugar is already low.

Hugs!

{examples}

Did you see that movie? Yeah, I did.

Yay! I got 100% on my spelling quiz.

Hand me the pepper spray, will ya?

Yea, and it came to pass...

How fun is this?

2009-01-29T10:27:00.000-07:00

The answer is 'lots.'

Hey you, reader, smile right now.

2009-01-26T11:06:00.002-07:00

I am a happier person lately. I find myself laughing out loud at commercials, movies, the jokes I tell myself in my head as I walk to class or clean my toilet. Music is richer, colors have talked to me as they walk by on someone's back. I am loving the snow; I don't resent it as I break my back shoveling. Tears come easier (yes, that is a big step for me in terms of happy things), running is fun for the first time since track in Junior High. I'm fairly well convinced I am meant to be a contract worker. Pick the projects I want, work when I want, avoid the politics and drama. You know what? Life is just good. Belieeeve dat. I am so blessed. It's amazing to me all the time I've wasted allowing my past to haunt me. I just needed a little healing and the Atonement did that for me.

How do you spell relief?

2009-01-09T21:10:00.002-07:00

I picked up a pepper at the restaurant, asked my "clients" (no, they're my friends) how much they'd give me to eat the whole thing. Wads of cash got thrown in front of me as I chomped down the pepper. Fire. Flames. I tried to act tough...it really hurt. Since when did I get so wussy? 2 glasses of water, lots of chewing on ice and even sucking on my napkin didn't help. I know, I know, I should have had milk but who the heck drinks milk in a restaurant? Think about it. Milk? It just doesn't make sense to me. I can't drink a glass of milk in my house let alone a place where floating flavors can get soaked in. Ashlee knows what I mean. Some foods are like sponges for smells. Pork bone, carne asada-flavored milk. I'll deal with the burn. I can handle my stomach being a crock pot for an evening. I'd rather be punished for the next 12 hours than drink that.

Tums. Yes, time for Tums.

P.S. I got $21 and a Cafe Rio card that had 3 punches on it. Such generous friends to their unemployed friend.

4:20

2009-01-08T01:09:00.002-07:00

I was looking through craigslist for someone that might be looking for a place to stay during the Sundance Film Festival. We have a house in Heber that is available and I'd really like to get it rented. Anyway, as I searched I noticed a particular posting that said a woman needed a place for a few weeks, maybe a month, "must be 420 friendly." No, she couldn't have. Did she really? Can you? Really? I had to find out. I clicked on the ad and laughed out loud as the ad answered those questions going through my mind. 420 friendly, but don't worry, she won't smoke inside.

wow.

21 inches

2009-01-08T00:58:00.003-07:00

That's how much snow Orem has gotten in the past couple days. 150% above normal. I'm heading to Phoenix for a couple days. It's going to be around 70 degrees this weekend. Yup, I'm spoiled.

Elliott Smith on a day like today

2008-12-31T15:53:00.002-07:00

Maybe I shouldn't have let Pandora pick Elliott Smith for me on a day like today. Sad. It's my last day at XanGo. I have worked here for almost 6 years. I have given my heart, mind, body and soul to this company and it feels like I'm leaving a gaping hole in my chest cavity as I clean up my desk and walk out the door. I love my friends that work here. I have family that works here and I've become closer to them because they are within throwing distance and laugh at my stupid remarks. I have friends that throw things at my head. Yes, that last one IS fun (but not too hard, Dainon, please).

I have learned a lot about myself in this big stucco building. I take off in about an hour and am finding that I am really quite glad that no one is here to see me walk away. See me walk away and probably bawl my eyes out and get a pounding headache for the New Year party.

Hey, friends, don't let me disappear...I'm really good at that.

Love you all.

I scare Brett

2008-12-29T21:02:00.002-07:00

Many of you know I'd like to write for a living. Brett asked me today what I might write and I jokingly told him one about people that fantasize about being serial killers. He told me I terrify him and I laughed. He reminded me that my joke was far too similar to a book idea I had a couple of years ago. Sometimes the little bits of lingering darkness inside even scare me.

Copycat

2008-12-23T16:07:00.002-07:00

Ok, I'm copying my sis, Stef. But she found success so I'll copy without shame.

I had a renter set up for a room in my house but she just decided to move into her parent's basement for more space for furniture. I have a room available in my house. We are fun girls, pretty low-key, don't expect you to be our best friend (although we are great friends), and have a great house. If you are interested or know someone who is, let me know. I'd prefer someone in our age range (27+) just because I'd rather not deal with college parties or too much drama.

How to be Me, by Melanee Raynes

2008-12-21T22:17:00.003-07:00

How do I write that? I've been given the task to write a manual for the new "Mel" at work. How does one do that? How do I tell someone I don't know how to deal with some very unique personalities? How do I tell them to do a job that I feel is far too nebulous to explain?

Ideas?

I just quit my job

2008-12-16T14:44:00.000-07:00

Stef says I have to say "boo-yah!"

2008-12-15T11:55:00.004-07:00

She says I have to say that because this is me list for this year's travels:

Became Mormon again
Went skydiving
Long Beach
Orlando
Huntington Beach
Grand Cayman
Yellowstone
Washington D.C.
OBX North Carolina
San Francisco
Thailand
Malaysian Borneo
Hong Kong

This is one I took in Thailand—it could be a postcard:

Bah Humbug

2008-12-03T08:42:00.002-07:00

I've been a true-blue Bah Humbugger for going on...geez...almost forever now. I decided a few days ago that this year I'd forget all my grumpiness and just enjoy the season. Part of why I hate the holidays is because I hate emotions and the holidays just pull them out of you no matter how much you fight. So, if I ignore the holidays, ignore parties, have the worst time possible, I'm in good shape. No more. I guess I'll probably suffer a lot of personal humiliation this season and people will see a side of me that I greedily hide, but, oh well. Eff anyone that cares. :) hehe

Terimah Kasih

2008-11-19T08:01:00.005-07:00

That means "Thank You" in Malay.

This is such a beautiful culture. When they greet you—even in passing—they put their hand to their heart like we do when we salute our flag. They do this because they are welcoming you into their heart. I laugh that so many people were worried about me traveling to Malaysia being that it is a Muslim country and thus dangerous and yet I've found a genuinely kind and wonderful people. I've traveled to many places and have been stuck in some difficult situations, but I feel safe here. Even the street hecklers don't seem to bother me much. Insistent, yes. Creepy and I fear that they hear what I tell the taxi driver as to where to take us, no.

Come to Borneo some day. Come see how amazing it is, meet it's wonderful people, experience its culture, and fall in love with a world out of this world.

Oh yeah, THESE pictures I took. The others I stole. I wish I wish I had my Nikon with me...these shots could have been so much better.

Enjoy!

Braggin' on Borneo

2008-11-17T16:16:00.007-07:00

This beautiful morning I sit at the desk in my room, balcony doors as open as they go. I don't hear the ocean because it hardly moves. It's still in view—about 30 yards, in fact—and I can still smell it but it's very different from our North American oceans and beaches. Even though my surroundings should be lifting my spirits to a height of playful soaring, I have this strange feeling this morning. Maybe it's just the blessing I've been asking for. Maybe this feeling is the reassurance I've been hoping and praying for. I should be here in Borneo, but I shouldn't be where I am.

Nuff of that, here are some pictures of where I be!

Gorgeous! The next few are of the Shangri-La resort we are staying in.

Leavin' on a jet plane

2008-11-11T21:19:00.002-07:00

I survived the convention from Hell and now get to jump on about 10 planes. The 15-hour flight doesn't scare me, I'm actually looking forward to it. It will probably be uncomfortable but my phone will be turned off. I won't have anyone bugging me (unless Dainon gets bored and comes to visit), and I get an amazing destination: Bangkok, Borneo (Malaysian part) and Hong Kong. I deserve this.

Red eyes

2008-11-05T23:28:00.000-07:00

I want to pull my eyelids over my head.

56 days and counting

2008-11-03T09:20:00.001-07:00

Grateful

2008-10-19T14:10:00.003-06:00

Today I played the cello along with the choir for a special musical number, Come Unto Him. I haven't played in years and it showed. My fingers hurt because I no longer have callouses. My vibrato was shaky and inconsistent. I couldn't shift fast enough to avoid open strings. I'm grateful because, regardless of my lack of skill and intense nerves, for some reason when I actually played notes my hands would stop shaking and my heart would beat slower. This song had long rests—7 or 8 measures at a time—and as I "rested" my hands would sweat and tremble, I was sure I wouldn't be able to play a single note. My part would come, I could play, then I'd shake again. Maybe it sounds silly to some, but I was truly blessed today.

Hauntings

2008-10-14T19:22:00.003-06:00

It's no secret that I have a bit of a dark past. I've tried extremely hard the past 11 months to move beyond it all but today I was reminded—no, slapped—by one part of my past. I guess these reminders are good. I guess they help me. I guess. For now, it has just made my stomach fall into my feet and it just won't stop scrunching, twisting, souring.

Travels

2008-10-08T18:59:00.002-06:00

I'm taking a trip. Using a floating holiday. Using comp days for my crazy days now. Using maybe 8 PTO hours. Will be gone for 15 days. Missing Thanksgiving. Sorry, Mom. Not sorry, Malaysia.

Photog

2008-09-24T19:51:00.000-06:00

I am really enjoying being a photog. I'm not an expert but I feel I have a decent eye for it. Composition is fun to think about, candid shots are even more fun. I'm doing some wedding photography for a few friends and have not only learned a lot but have thoroughly enjoyed myself. I could totally do this...

He's nice

2008-09-15T20:26:00.001-06:00

New boss is cool. No worries.

New boss

2008-09-15T09:29:00.001-06:00

No, he isn't Hoss. Sad. We'll see how this goes. I feel like we have a substitute teacher and I'm in third grade and it would be funny to trade desks and name plates and pretend to be someone else just cuz he wouldn't know and I could take a few days' rest and, well, and.

Looong day

2008-09-11T23:15:00.002-06:00

I got home around 7:00 this morning. I went to work around 6:30 yesterday morning. Yep, I worked for over 24 hours straight. Sleepy-time...for a few weeks.

Ok, it is worth it

2008-09-09T07:44:00.002-06:00

It's worth it because now I have the opportunity (for the nth time) to prove myself. Thanks for the votes of confidence, I appreciate it. Maybe I can be nice today seeing that I already established I can be a b---- if I need to be.

Not worth it

2008-09-08T06:54:00.003-06:00

This isn't worth it. The crap I take at work is not worth the sleepless nights. Good friend D would tell me to stop worrying, to just let go and not let it enter other parts of my life, but I don't know how. I don't know how to just be mediocre at something and because of that I obsess about it at all hours of the night. The only reason I have to believe I got ANY sleep last night is that I remember some pretty strange dreams that I don't think my imagination would have come up with if I were awake.

My name, my pride, my performance and thus my self was challenged this weekend. I can't take that. Bring on the b----!

Birthdays!

2008-09-03T11:07:00.002-06:00

Happy Birthday David - Aug 29
Happy Birthday Grandma - Aug 29
Happy Birthday Jon - Today! Sep 3

Happy Birthday! I love you all.

Sticks and stones

2008-09-02T10:02:00.004-06:00

...will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

Wild horses

2008-08-25T13:10:00.003-06:00

I'm heading to visit a friend in D.C. this Labor Day weekend. We'll hang out in the city for a couple of days then drive down to her family's house on the beach in North Carolina, they call it The Outer Banks (OBX). Wild horses live there. Yep, wild horses. Color me excited.

Happy

2008-08-20T11:35:00.001-06:00

Worstest

2008-08-15T22:25:00.002-06:00

Don't see the new Mummy movie. Well, I guess you can if you feel the need for super-cheesy lines, bad accents and annoying characters (Oh, I musn't forget the Yetis with personality).

{skip it}

Today blows.

2008-08-13T16:03:00.001-06:00

Furry

2008-08-12T16:23:00.003-06:00

Since when do Zingers get moldy? I thought those things would last through the apocalypse. Gross. Hairy Zingers are gross. I hope I didn't eat one and didn't notice.

2008-08-10T22:05:00.003-06:00

I know there's something else for me. I can feel it. My ideas of potential futures give me more peace and excitement than I can describe. I have something else in me that I know I've been scared of. Some talents I haven't discovered or haven't let develop. I'm afraid they will envelop me. I'm terrified they will change me. But I know they are in me. Maybe I'm a narcissist, maybe I'm just plain crazy. Or maybe, just maybe (please maybe!) there's something for me to do.

Big skies

2008-08-07T13:11:00.003-06:00

Montana is known as "Big Sky Country" and I was reminded why. A lot of their landscape is similar to Utah but just 5 times bigger. Huge, vast expanses of space and land, seemingly untouched. I'm sure most everyone has already seen Yellowstone, but if you haven't, I'd suggest a road trip. Yes, it's a lot of driving, but having a buffalo cross the road in front of your car is worth the gas. Seeing those vistas that seem to stretch to the curve of the earth is worth it. Spending time with your bestest friends in the whole widest world (in my case, my family), is worth it.

100

2008-07-31T11:05:00.004-06:00

Post #100. Wowza. Funny that we like even numbers. I will put in far too much gas so I get an even number (odd, but even. I like 5's with my gas if I can't get an even dollar). I watch my odometer when I should be watching the road. In my old Nissan I was driving back from Mexico when I hit the 150,000 mark. I hit it exactly on the Continental Divide. Jon, Rachel and I got out, did some funny dances, maybe mooned a passing truck or two and then we all had to pee because we were laughing so hard. Yes, we peed right alongside the road. I was such a stupid 21 year-old.

Rain on me

2008-07-28T16:36:00.003-06:00

I love the rain. I love how it cleans the air. I love how it makes my house smell new. I love how quickly our desert greens up after a good shower. Rain is more fun with dramatic music playing in the background. I laid on my bed with the lights off, dramatic music coming quietly from a corner of my room and let the feeling of the rain wash through me. Those quiet moments make the accidental patterns on my ceiling paint begin to change and become human. I see faces, families, friendships. I see those things in the paint in that quiet, and not after.

Strange feeling...or I'm just weird.

2008-07-24T16:32:00.001-06:00

Is this air that I'm breathing opaque?

2008-07-23T17:22:00.001-06:00

It's just juice. It's just juice.

July 19, 1972

2008-07-18T21:27:00.005-06:00

Many of you know how fast that title should be read. Read it again and say it really fast with a lot of excitement. That's from our Shelley. Tomorrow, July 19, is her 36th birthday. She still thinks she looks 23, and with how awesome she's been doing with her weight loss, I'd agree!

Shelley,
You light up our lives. You were meant to be part of our family. If it weren't for you and your Christ-like influence in our lives, we'd probably be jerks. I remember when we would fight as kids all it took was to see the pained tears in your eyes to make us stop. You've never hurt a fly and never would. We never want to hurt you, either. You take such wonderful care of all of us. You are the best self-esteem friend anyone could ask for. "Hello gorgeous!" is how each phone call starts. Everyone that meets you, loves you. You are truly a blessing to us and this world. I thank God for sharing one of his greatest creations with me. I love you.

~mel

United.

2008-07-16T15:04:00.002-06:00

Show that we're united. Hometown or not. Look at the vastness of sky and see that one cloud stretch from one end to the other. Big big bigness. What are we doing? How are we helping? So selfish. The nightmare doesn't end. What for? Why for? No barrier will stop me. I will work around it. Here goes nothing.

A day in pictures.

2008-07-11T16:12:00.004-06:00

I love my new camera. I'm learning so much.

Paradisio

2008-07-10T22:23:00.007-06:00

Rather than give you the run-down of my trip so far, I'll touch on some particularly interesting (at least to me) things that have happened.

›Sand is like Cream O' Wheat.
›Yes, the water really looks like this. No, I haven't been to Stingray City yet.

›I will never understand or be able to connect to the rich people that would stay here on their own dime. It would just never occur to me to even look at a place like this. My brother would call that "poverty mentality." I'm not complaining! I have loved both of my rooms and I doubt I have stayed in a nicer hotel...not entirely sure. I would suggest the Ritz-Carlton to those that can afford it.

›I am like most Raynes and will take a dare. Tonight I was dared to put an entire dessert puff in my mouth at once. Of course, I shoved it in with about 6 staff watching, and almost gagged as I was surprised by the rum glaze. I knew it was a rum puff to start with but I figured it was more like "suggested rum" baked in. I still consider myself in "good standing," but felt my throat constrict around the tight and sweet liquor.

›I do NOT suggest swimming in the ocean after dark. In Hawaii years ago I was in the ocean and had a very strong feeling I should get out immediately. Yes, most Raynes' are a bit afraid of the water. I blame my dad (love you!) because he raised us on stories of how dangerous the water is, how many times it almost killed him and how the devil controls the water. The bubbles my feet kicked up as I sat on the rope with buoys shimmered and caught my eye. Not pleasing by any means. More like it looked like some shiny, sharp fish that was going to swim up my shorts and bite me in the hoo-ha. Call them beautiful, sparkling orbs that caught the moonlight, if you want (oh, how charming). I call them "make-me-think-I'm-schizophrenic-again-and-fear-forces-me-to-say-silent-prayers-for-courage-to-stay-long-enough-until-my-friends-return-from-the-nastola-floating-dock--get-me-out-of-here-now!"

No friends?

2008-07-08T13:59:00.005-06:00

This may be you, this may be me. I feel sorry for people that only have pictures of themselves that they have taken with the camera in their own hand trying to aim it for their face. Where are your friends? Are you too shy to ask a stranger to take your pic? Strangers are generally nice people and love feeling like they have done their good deed for the day. Give someone a "Gold Star on Your Head" feeling and hand them your camera. Make friends. Give up the stranger danger.

To go or not to go

2008-07-07T09:09:00.003-06:00

I got a new freckle this weekend. It's dark, distinct and looks a bit like a speck of dirt on my hand. Sure, I get new freckles all the time, but this one is different, this one feels like a change in my skin; it grabs my attention. Maybe I'm obsessed with change, who knows? Right now I'm obsessed with the kind of change that would cause me to sell my house and move away. I have some obligations and opportunities here that are keeping me around, but I still fantasize. Wouldn't it be great if I could walk away with a chunk of cash, buy a simple little place on some mostly-deserted island and write a book? I think I'd go crazy, I'm too ADD for something like that. Sure sounds romantic, though, yes?

Spork happens

2008-07-02T19:30:00.000-06:00

Unfortunately, it does.

WALL-E

2008-06-28T11:21:00.002-06:00

Freaking adorable.

The animation: fantastic!
Social commentary: interesting.
Love story: heart-string pulling.
Robots: more human than humans.

Go see it. That's an order.

Ambien MPD

2008-06-25T00:28:00.003-06:00

I leave my bedroom door open at night to let the air move around. A roommate of mine does the same. She told me tonight that last night as she was tossing and turning she heard me start talking in my sleep. At first she thought it was someone outside because the voice was very low. Then it sounded like the voice was coming from the hallway. Low, quiet, but clear words. Luckily, the voice was too quiet to distinguish the words. The freaky part (if that wasn't enough) is that I was having a conversation with myself, I guess. Two distinct voices, one mine, one lower. She couldn't make out any words, but the voices didn't sound angry or argumentative, just a common conversation. Am I going crazy or is it just that I need to stop taking Ambien?

(Alison and Stef, I'm sorry if this gives you nightmares)

CGO

2008-06-23T20:10:00.001-06:00

Melanee Raynes = CGO (chief gross officer)

Count your blessings

2008-06-18T17:37:00.000-06:00

I'm grateful...

I don't have to fear for my life.
I have a wonderful family.
I have incredible friends.
I live in a fantastically beautiful world.
I have a beautiful home.
I have a purpose.
I have faith.
I'm not crazy anymore.
I have a good job.
I learn things fairly easily.
I find joy in many things.
I have my health.
Laughter comes easily.
I have the gospel.
I am financially stable.
I'm happy.

Cocktail

2008-06-17T12:14:00.002-06:00

≈

4 Ibuprofen tabs
1 extra strength Tylenol
1 Lortab monster pill
1 Benadryl (pink lady)

Mix those all in one stomach at one time and you get spinning ceiling tiles and 3-second response times to questions or comments. Sometimes I hate drugs. Sometimes.

≈

Karl Malone to buuuy

2008-06-14T14:47:00.000-06:00

Y'all got Beanie Babies?

Click on this link